Daily Verse | Numbers 22:33
“The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her.”
Happy Friday, friends. A chicken always has a reason to cross the road.
Last night a good friend of mine held a “rite of passage” ceremony for his son, along with four other fathers and their sons. The purpose was to formally welcome the sons into the fellowship of men, to invite them to cross the threshold between being a boy and becoming a young man.
Peoples and cultures throughout history have created rites of passage to initiate boys into manhood. They almost always follow the same progression:
- The separation of the boy from his mother
- Completing a challenge with other boys/men
- Returning the young man to the community
- Celebrating with the community and family
American boys lack such a moment on their journey to manhood in our culture because rites of passage are all but extinct. Instead, these are what pass for markers of being a “man” in our culture:
- You’re old enough to drive
- You’re old enough to see an R-rated movie
- You’re old enough to buy alcohol
- You’re old enough to vote
- You’re old enough to join the military
- You’ve had sex
- You’ve graduated from college
- You’ve gotten a real job
- You’ve gotten married
- You’ve had your own children
These are society’s markers of manhood, but did you notice what they all have in common? They aren’t distinctly “male” markers; they can also be markers for women. This obviously begs the question, “What does it mean to be(come) a man?”
Each of the fathers at the ceremony last night spoke for a few minutes to the boys. The theme that they all shared was that, above everything else, a man puts Christ at the center of his life, that who you are in Christ is the most important thing for a man to know.
One of the men who spoke said that the nature of manhood is an active self sacrificing benevolent leadership. And it starts with recognizing that you are under the authority of Christ.
Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
What that means is that a man bears the primary responsibility for leading himself and his family—righteously—before God. That’s sure to make a lot of people bristle. But that just underscores where we are as a people, doesn’t it?
God has created both men and women in His image, but he’s given them different roles. Men are made the primary responsible party by God and it’s not for society to undermine that role.
However, we live in an age when being male is often thought of as a liability, sometimes as a curse, and lately as a matter of choice. Men have been demeaned by women, conquered by pornography, reviled as the “patriarchy” and trained to be ashamed of anything resembling traditional masculine roles such as leaders, providers or warriors.
The process of becoming a man, ceremony or not, does not happen in a single moment. But rites of passage are important in delineating when a boy should start thinking of himself as a man, when he should start carrying himself as a man, when the community should start respecting him as a man, and when he should start shouldering the responsibilities of a man.
Imagine the impact on our society if rites of passage for young men became a common practice.
Have a good weekend.
[Image: Neil Bromhall | YouTube screengrab]