It’s Thursday, the only day between Wednesday and Friday. Make it a good one.

Last week I wrote about how everything is racist now. Space objects are racist, front lawns are racist, traffic signals are racist, Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony is racist, Jesus is racist and … it’s all just so hard to keep up with.

You may remember when everything was getting cancelled earlier this year that Our Bettersᵀᴹ told us that beautiful Indian—sorry, Native American—maidens on butter packaging was racist, and therefore that person of color had to be cancelled. Or, rather, that the evil farmers of the Minnesota Cooperative Creameries Association in St. Paul who market Land O’Lakes Butter had to be cancelled by taking the “butter maiden” off of their packaging.

The logo had long been criticized as racist and stereotypical, with North Dakota Rep. Ruth Buffalo telling the Grand Forks Tribune the image goes “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls.” Link

When I think back to the times I used Land O’Lakes Butter, I recall how scandalized I was by its close association with the sex trade as I buttered my toast. See for yourself:

That image practically makes me an accomplice to the sex trade. What was I thinking?

Before you get offended that I’m making light of the “sex trade,” let me be clear that nothing could be further from the truth. I’m making a serious point.

It is irrational for North Dakota Rep. Ruth Buffalo to claim that an image of an imaginary Indian maiden used to evoke a tranquil setting on a dairy product sold to the public for the last 100 years is tantamount to kidnapping and prostituting Indian women and girls. It’s a grotesque association that has no grounding in reality, but it is an effective way to destroy your perceived enemies.

But no worries, because it’s been fixed. The person of color has been replaced with a big red “O.” As in “nOthing.”

Isn’t that better? Now that Mia the butter maiden has been cancelled, which is totally not racist, no one has to bring home their purchase in a paper bag. We’ve also reduced diversity and inclusion in the butter department, but at least the owners of Land O’Lakes Butter aren’t making any money off the cultural appropriation of a non-existent woman to sell their product!

I can see only one problem. When they erased the woman of color, the big “O” that replaced her is filled with a lot of white space.

There’s a reason the acronym for Land O’Lakes is LOL.